England's Premier League Bet Preview
I am no stranger to police attention. One time I was driving along with the wife when the boys in blue pulled me over. The copper asked me if I had been drinking. "Not a drop" I said, "Was I speeding?" "No Sir, it's the state of the girl in the passenger seat that aroused my suspicion."
My run in with the Bill pigeon-holes me alongside young Wayne Rooney. The Scouse nutcase had his possessions stolen from his parent's house recently; imagine that, a robbery in Liverpool. If anyone offers you a half-eaten Big Mac wrapped in losing betting slips, you should call the filth immediately.
For Rooney, it has been a summer to forget. The big lad's temperament was called in to question at the World Cup, when after a couple of niggling challenges from the opposing players, Rooney decided to jump on Ricardo Carvalho's testicles like they were a couple of hairy chicken nuggets.
Ricky 'The Soprano' Carvalho will have a thirst for vengeance due to his severe case of the 'numb plum' at the hands of the Roonatic. They say that revenge is a dish best served with two veg, so depriving Wayne Rooney of a champion's medal will be a little payback. Chelsea are 1.50 odds to retain their title; that is a plum betting opportunity.
Luckily, there is a "betting without Chelsea" market, and I am favouring Arsenal to pip Man U to the runners-up spot. It looks as though Real Madrid have failed in their attempt to lure Fabregas from the Emirates (paying for Cesc is quite an appealing prospect), while United are set to lose Ronnie and the Ruud boy. 3.00 bet odds about the Gunners in a two horse race seems very good value.
Ricardo Carvalho isn't the first man to end up with an angry pair of plums, Neville Neville set the trend 30 years ago. Phil Neville's Everton teammates are a decent bet at 15.00 to come out on top in the betting 'without the big 4'.
One of the consequences of Chelsea's 'buy every good player in the world' policy, is that the relegation battle has evolved into a 'dolphin' market; it's more interesting than the title race for wagering porpoises. Wigan performed miracles last season, but they have lost Chimbonda and bought Heskey, which is like swapping a Porsche for a wheelbarrow. Take 5.00 odds about Wigan dropping a division.
Paul Jewell managed to keep Bradford in the English Premier League for a season a few years ago, before being relegated the following term and finishing rock bottom. Jewell may be a real character, but so is Homer Simpson, and you would not want him in charge of your football team. (Unless it was a straight choice between Simpson and Souness, then you would have to seriously reconsider your position.) Wigan are worth a small nibble at 21.00 odds to finish bottom of the heap.
Thierry Henry thinks that his appearance in the Champions League and World Cup finals prove that he is a winner, although technically, that makes him a double loser. It's rare for a 3.75 shot to represent value in a 120 runner race, but you cannot look past the great man for the Golden Boot. Henry has topped the charts in four of the last five seasons (he narrowly lost out to Van the man by a single goal four years ago); only a serious injury to the world's greatest player will prevent you from cashing in.